Brazil, you say? They know how to play football over there, don't they? But it's a long way for one so middle aged as I to travel.

So instead, I shall slouch into my leather armchair and view the tournament from this side of the Atlantic. I shall try and watch every game and will definitely make wildly inaccurate predictions too.

I do solemnly vow to give you a real sense of what it's like to not be at the World Cup. This is the blog where all the colour and atmosphere and passion of watching the world's greatest sporting tournament on a wall mounted widescreen really comes to life.

Friday 13 June 2014

Spain 1-5 Holland

Do not adjust your sets nor report me for numerical inaccuracy. This really happened.

Immense pain for Spain in the rain. The reigning champions blown away by a Dutch side many doubted would make it out of the group. Robben Van Persie both ruled the roost with a brace apiece and pace aplenty.  But it all started so well for Spain with a PK tucked away by Alonso.

Then the mare. And Casillas will cop some flack for errors. Ramos got burned by Robben. Torres misfired. It all went wrong for the team that's so used to getting everything right.

But let's not rule them out yet. They lost their opener at Euro 2012 remember...