Woe is not me. Woe is a back header. Woe is two defenders pushing up, playing for offside. Woe is a deadly finisher sneaking in behind them, stumbling, yet still slamming the ball home. Woe is the joy of finally scoring your first World Cup goal, then feeling utter misery ten minutes later. Woe is your World Cup being over after it has barely begun. Actually, woe is me.