Brazil, you say? They know how to play football over there, don't they? But it's a long way for one so middle aged as I to travel.

So instead, I shall slouch into my leather armchair and view the tournament from this side of the Atlantic. I shall try and watch every game and will definitely make wildly inaccurate predictions too.

I do solemnly vow to give you a real sense of what it's like to not be at the World Cup. This is the blog where all the colour and atmosphere and passion of watching the world's greatest sporting tournament on a wall mounted widescreen really comes to life.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Germany 4-0 Portugal

Work. The sworn enemy of World Cup watchers the world over.

This KO time was OK for the nine-to-fivers, but none too friendly for those like me who are expected to work until 5.30 and usually beyond without the hint of an OT payment.

I've tipped Portugal to be heading home early, and here's vindication, right here. Too much of a one man team, and when that one man is injured, his loan threat is all too easy to negate.

Muller must be congratulated on scoring this World Cup's first hat-trick, including an un-savable PK, low and beyond the reach of all but the stretchiest of GK's.

A great start for one of the tournament's favourites, but what next for the vanquished Portuguese?